Snapshot of my life...
- Music that I (we) have been listening to lately: Lately we have been listening to older songs while singing Karaoke, anything ranging from Simon and Garfunckle to Billy Joel and Red Hot Chili Peppers to Oasis. It is definitely a mix of songs from the past few decades!
- Recent movie I've seen: We watch movies a ton either at our little base theater or at home. The last movie we saw at the theater was Twilight, but there are some good movies coming out so we will be seeing more shortly. The last movies we saw at home were Vicky Cristina Barcelona, My Best Friend's Girl and The Neighbor. We watch a lot of random movies at home because our movie store on base is quite limited!
- Book I am reading right now: I am still reading my pregnancy books and I guess you can say that I am reading the Shopaholic books. However, I started the book forever ago and I haven't finished it! Eric has read a bunch of books lately including the Twilight series, Dune, The Host and The Road.
- Top News story right now: President Obama took office this week. We were able to watch almost all of the inaugural events and everything we missed is being played over and over again on the news! We even stayed up to watch the We are One: The Obama Inauguration Celebration. It was really entertaining to watch all of the artists and actors come together to put on such a spectacular performance. And here is a quote from President Obama's inaugural address...
"...I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
For those people out there who have the urge to comment on a pregnant woman's weight and/or size, please read the following before going into the conversation blindly!
First off, we understand that we are getting larger day by day. Believe me, we can feel it not only in our ever increasing waist line but also in our quickly decreasing wardrobe... our shirts are getting shorter and our pants are definitely getting tighter! We can feel it as our skin begins to itch as it expands to accommodate our new addition. We are no longer a normal woman. We are now hosts to the baby that has taken inhabitance in our bellies. Therefore, we do not need to be reminded that we are getting bigger, so in general we prefer not to be asked how it feels to be "the size of a house"? We are pregnant, but we are still female! Would you ask a women, or even a man for that matter, this very question? No, because that would be inappropriate. So for future reference, this question is also inappropriate for pregnant women! We may look "the size of a house", but we don't need to be reminded of it.
Second, following the statement of "you are getting so big" by "you need to lay off the sweets or you will not be able to deliver the baby naturally and will require a c-section" doesn't make it any better; especially when you don't even know the person. In fact, it only makes it worse! We are already intimidated by the idea of pushing something the size of a melon through a hole the size of a lemon, and your comments regarding the possibility of the baby "not fitting" definitely doesn't help; especially for those of us who have never given birth before. Instead, a more respectful comment may go as follows... "You look great"! If you feel the need to expand beyond this statement we also enjoy hearing that we look "beautiful" or anything else along those lines. Please steer clear of any comments regarding the probability of the baby not fitting out of us! The thought it already in our minds, we do not need your constant reminder!
Third, it is ok to notice that we are getting larger, and if we are close enough to you it may even be ok to tell us in a tactful way. However, it is never ok to tell us that we are getting "too big", and then proceed this statement by touching our bellies and continuing to say "too big, too big". What does this mean to be "too big"? Too big for what? There is only so much we can do to stay "in shape" during our pregnancy. Therefore, if one is ordering a salad after going to the gym and taking the dogs on a walk, obviously that person is doing as much as possible not to get "too big". So it would definitely not be recommended if you were this person's waitress, or anyone else for that matter, to tell them any statement of this kind. Once again, the following statements would better suit the situation... You look great, or you are glowing would be better choices to share with your pregnant guest. Just a reminder in case you forgot, this pregnant woman has not yet paid her bill and obviously has not given you your tip! It you desire any tip besides "bug off" you may want to refrain from statements such as this!
Fourth, you have decided to tell the mommy-to-be congratulations on her pregnancy! Great job! We love hearing this and anything else along these lines. We are very excited about our new addition; however, proceeding this statement by comments such as "I couldn't tell if you were just getting big" or " I was afraid to say something in case you were just getting fat" are never appropriate or appreciated statements. You may think these things in your head, but they are definitely not something that you need to share with us! Just saying congratulations is enough... no need to expand! You went from being our new best friend, especially if we are just getting out of that I don't look pregnant I just look chubby stage, to our new enemy. Remember, we are pregnant which means we are hormonal! We can cry at the drop of a hat, so don't be that hat!
Fifth, this one isn't taken from person experience, but I know that the person who received the "compliment" was not thrilled to say the least. If you desire to share that you can tell that we are pregnant, that is ok. To tell us that our tummy is cute is also ok, especially if we are just starting to show. However, telling us that you can tell that we are pregnant because you can "see it in our necks" is not ok. We are self conscious enough. We don't need to gain a complex that our neck is getting fat or any other body part for that matter (besides our bellies of course and even then please refrain from using the word fat). Once again, please reference the suggested phrases in the second and third points. I promise that you will get much better results with praises such as those!
Sixth, this one is also not mine, but like the one above I know that the mommy-to-be in this story wasn't thrilled to say the least. If you are at party, or anywhere for that matter, it is never ok to tell us to "suck it in". And it is even less acceptable to continue to tell us this over and over again as the night goes on... repetition does not make it better! For your understanding, we are no longer able to "suck it in". Unlike you and your normal stomach muscles, ours have relocated. After splitting they now reside, quite uselessly for that matter, along the side of our tummy. This is why when you see us trying to stand up and we roll back down that you shouldn't laugh. Instead, you should offer a helping hand. Most likely, we will greatly appreciate your generosity instead of being further humiliated by our lack of ability to stand up on our own.
Seventh, this is one that is up for debate, but in my personal opinion I do not mind if someone rubs my belly. It really doesn't bother me if you want to touch; however, it does bother some pregnant women. My recommendation would be to ask before you touch! Think of us merchandise on a shelf. If the sign reads "please do not touch" or "please ask sales assistant for help before touching this item" you should respect the store and in turn respect the mommy! Taking the situation one step further, in my opinion it is never ok to smother the expecting mother by kissing and talking to her belly when you don't even know her. This is definitely crossing the personal space boundary lines! Leave the belly conversations to the daddy-to-be and the rest of the mommy's family and friends (if she deems this ok).
Eighth, this one is geared towards current mommies or people who desire to share stories of current mommies. I know sometimes it is tempting to make conversation with a pregnant woman, and believe me we love to chat about our pregnancies and how excited we are for our new baby to arrive. However, proper conversation topics do not include anything that pertains to difficult labor. We do not want to hear your horror stories regarding your "four day labor" or anything else related to the tremendous amount of pain we are about to experience. In fact, unless we bring up the topic of labor I would recommend avoiding the topic completely. Just because we are pregnant doesn't mean we want to hear that your labor that was "miserable". We don't want to know that "walking does nothing to ease the pain” and that the "doctors lies". We will experience it all for ourselves in due time.
Hopefully from these few tips, you will be able to distinguish what is and what is not appropriate to say to your pregnant friend, family member or even stranger. However, if you are still unsure as to what to say always refrain from the following words... huge, fat, chubby, plump, etc. And along those lines, always refrain from comparing our size to anything such as a house or even a condo. We are not a residence, well we are for the baby, but we don't need to be compared to one. Lastly, always remember that we love compliments. We are like normal women just with a ton more hormones! Anything that you deem inappropriate to say to a women before she is pregnant, definitely woudn't be recommended to say to them now that they are! In fact, we require even more love and compassion than the average women.
Best of luck with your future conversations. And as your mother always told you, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all!
Lots of Love,
Pregnant Women Everywhere
However, the week ended well. I think the Universe sensed that I needed some love, and the following day I had two strangers come up to me and tell me I was tiny. I now how two best friends, one that works at the post office and one that was working out in the gym! Just kidding, but on a series note I definitely appreciated their kind words!
Here is a belly pic from this week...
Baby Development Notes:
Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With Baby Bodkin's sense of movement well developed by now, he/she can feel me dance. And now that the baby is more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see him/her squirm underneath me clothes. Blood vessels in the lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that the baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing him/her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as the dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze Baby Bodkin when he/she hears them outside the womb.
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